That Which Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

As I stood dry-heaving over the blue berry pancakes that I made this morning, I couldn't help but reflect on things I am truly grateful for. This last week was a tough one for me. You might have noticed since I have not posted anything on my blog.
What a week I have had.
It was finals week for my school. That meant 4 papers and 2 research projects to write by tonight. I thought I would never make through. But, I did. I turned in my last project this morning at 6am. Writing a research paper is not what I wanted to be doing at 5 in the morning, but I couldn't sleep... And, it is finished! Yay me.
But, the biggest trial I had this last week that nearly did me in happened on Sunday.
Everything with my pregnancy had been going perfectly according to plan. I was completely exhausted. I was utterly nauseas. And, I was most of all completely elated that I was pregnant with my baby boy.
While sitting surrounded by my family enjoying time together before church, I all of a sudden and by complete surprise I felt a massive gush come out of me. I immediately knew something was wrong and rushed to the bathroom. I found an unbelievable amount of blood-filled fluid, like my water had broken. The bleeding became worse and worse and the cramping that came with it was pretty severe. I just knew that absolutely no way could I still be pregnant. There was way, way too much blood and cramping. And, what was the fluid if not the fluid from the amniotic sac?
David and I were both devastated. We were also in shock. Throughout the whole day I was either crying or catatonic staring at the walls in complete depression. Thankfully David took the kids to church and I was able to have some time alone. But, it didn't help. I couldn't believe it. How could this happen? I was so sure that we were supposed to have this baby.
I asked David if we should go to the ER. But, he said there is nothing they could do in the 1st trimester. He told me that the best thing to do was to wait for the ultrasound I had scheduled for Monday, the next day.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Torture.
Late into the night David and sat waiting and holding each other.
The next day David moved my ultrasound appointment up from 2pm to 10 am. He wanted to be there and the morning was the only time he could be.
So, we went. As David and I silently walked the dark halls of the hospital basement I dreaded lying on the ultrasound table listening to the news that nothing was there anymore.
The tech put the warm gel on my belly and placed the instrument on me. Then she announced after a couple of minutes, "There's the heartbeat."
WHAT?
David smiled at me and asked if I could see it.
We were both so surprised and in shock again. But this time for a very good reason. WE STILL HAVE A BABY! I couldn't understand how this could be because with all the fluid, cramping and blood loss no baby should have survived.
But apparently after analysis and study of the ultrasound pictures it was determined that I had a sub-chorionic bleed... or something like that. I was told that it was basically a mild rupture of the placenta. And, when it started to heal it created a pocket that filled up with blood. Blood kept building up and building up until it ruptured. And, that is what I experienced on Sunday. I suppose it is pretty common. At least that is what I am told. And, it will heal up to be a perfectly normal pregnancy. But, we need to keep on top of it now. I am now visiting a maternal-fetal medicine doc regularly.
I guess I am in for another drama boy....
So, here it is! This is the very first Ultrasound of Honour. He is measuring perfectly at 7 weeks and 3 days. His heartbeat is just perfect at 150 beats.

He is the blob on the left in the black center.