Princesses on Parade

I bet by the title of this blog post you thought I was going to talk about my girls... Well, I'm not.
Nope. This one is all about Justice - again.
For that last, well... 3 years... he has been mistaken for a girl because of his awesome long blond hair. We absolutely love it! But at times I have been pretty bothered by others calling him a girl. He is just so "BOY".
However, today he undeniably and without question looked like a little girl.
Justice has 1 friend that he plays with on a regular basis. Her name is Sarah. She lives right across the street, which is really nice because my friend Carrie and I can get together at the drop of a hat to let the kids play.
Sarah is also a girlie-girl who loves sparkles and pink. I think she majorly rubbed off on Justice.  And, we may need to branch out and find some boys his age to play with....
Yesterday he told me he wanted to play "princesses" with Sarah. And, today.... Well, you can see that he did. He is wearing a lovely shade of pink that sets of his skin tone quite nicely. He is also accessorized with a lovely crown and fancy red Snow White shoes. I think he is trying to pull off the reverse Heidi Klum 2008 Oscar red carpet look. Very chic.... He has taste in fashion.
When it was time to leave Sarah's house he even sulked like a girl. He became very moody because he wanted to keep playing princess. The only way to get him to leave the house and dress-up clothes behind was to tell him that if he did I would get him chicken nuggets for dinner.
He reluctantly took off the dress, crown, and Snow White heels. But, true to the boy he is, he couldn't pass up meat.... ummmm... sort of meat.
But, let it be known that the only time you may address my son as a "princess" is when he is dressed like one - which actually may happen from time to time.

Back in School

Well I just had a great 2 weeks just sitting around doing nothing for my vacation in between terms. The sun shined for 1 week during my time off and I enjoyed it thoroughly. All of you Arizonans truly cannot appreciate the sun... You need to go without it for.... say.... about 6 months and then you will truly be a worshiper when it comes around.
I also got started on fixing up my backyard so I can begin my garden. I will be planting peas and lettuce. Yum! I am hoping for a better garden this year.... One without dogs eating my crops and with better soil for more produce.
But, alas.... School begins again starting today. I am so dreading it. Just think, at one point I thought going back to school was a good idea. Not so much now.... I am really struggling with it. I am not struggling with the work. I just don't want to be focussing on school. I was to be pregnant and care-free. I want to just be "Mom" right now. So, I am not so moltivated at all to be in school.
But, luckily, this is my last term before Honour is born. Then I will be taking off 2 terms of school. My finish date for this term is June 1st. I am counting down.....

Any ideas...?

Time for a new post, but I am plum out of ideas at this time. So, Someone give me a topic. Any topic... and I will expound on that. Make it a good one!

Getting my pap smeared

Going to the gyny is always a blessed event..... yeah..... sure..... Today is my day coupled with an OB check-up. Luckily, I have a gigundo belly and can't see the faces being made on the other side.


For these special visits, I get dressed up in my best date night clothes, amazing hair, shave above the knee, do a "girlie" trim, and wear my favorite shiny, lip plumping lip gloss on top of my movie star worthy make-up. I even pop in a breath mint and bake some sort of treat. FYI - Gyno offices love brownies, cupcakes and rice crispy treats.... (Just a little tid bit I'd let you in on so your next visit can be super-duper.)
However, this time is not a time for experimenting.
Case and point.....
Worst gyno visit ever. 1st time I did a bikini wax. I had a horrible reaction to the wax and ended up with writhing blisters and a bright red "virginia." My appointment was the next day and I couldn't cancel because I would have been screwed by my insurance and "no show" office charge. So, I went. But, before I did I tried to cover up the mess by putting on sunless tanning cream. Ummm... yeah.... Holy Crap, did I ever make a bad situation worse!!! I had mutant looking; now brownish-rust colored blisters all over my sacred girlie spot. Horrifying!
To make matters worse, my doctor at the time was fine. No, I don't mean he was an OK doctor. I mean he was Fine, hunkalisious, easy on the eyes, babe-o-rific.
"Really, Hot Doctor Sir... I don't have gonorrhea."
What is worse than an embarrassing looking virginia...? Complete and utter silence during the appointment.
So, ladies I'm gonna let you in on some inside information... if you are going to the gyno looking freakish, disease ridden, smelling down there like a fishing dock at high noon, or have a collection of flies swarming around your wahoo, somebody's gonna here about it. That's right. You heard me. Somebody will be sitting at dinner with a shriveled up face and a lump of puke at the base of their throat listening to the story of a foul woman who couldn't clean herself prior to her lady appointment.
I can't even tell you how many times I have heard these nasty tales of skankiness from David - Still being in line with HIPPA, of course. ;) And, to those of you who he has been talking about.... Oh my word! For the love of all that is holy, clean yourself! Don't make my poor man suffer so.
All fun aside; make an appointment today to get yourself checked out. It would be a needless waste and shame for a woman young or old to ever die from a girlie part cancer.

Courage's Scouting Day

Saturday was a big day for Courage in the world of scouting.
He qualified in the district pinewood derby race because he placed 1st in our local troop race. He was so excited to go and was looking forward to it for about a month.
When we got to the district race, I was floored by how seriously some people believed the race to be. Many people were all business.
And, then there was my family...
Courage was running all over the place acting like his goofy self just giddy with excitement. Hope and Justice were a bit under the weather, so they were actually pretty behaved. David was just taking in the sights and sounds, Faith was a growth on my hip (as usual), and I was just overwhelmed from the smell of delicious nachos. That was really all I cared about...Food.
We waited in line to check into the race for about 40 minutes and entertained by the super serious, super freak derby racers.
Then off to the races! Courage followed all the scouts over to his section of the bleachers in the gym where the races were held. I took my family to quite possibly the best spot in the gym with the best view.
The races started.
There were 45 little Wolf scouts racing. Race after race Courage won. David and I took notice and that was all it took for us to get totally into it. To be honest, we didn't think he would do as well as he was doing. But, he just kept winning! You could just see in his face the pride and elation from every win. But, he was trying really hard to act like it was no big deal.
But, then there was David and me... We both started getting nervous every time he would be called up to a race. I even chewed down all my finger nails!
The Final Round

Well, after about an hour and 15 minutes, the preliminary races were done. Then we waited for a while for the wins to be counted.
After that, we heard Courage's name called into the district finals. We were so happy for him and he was thrilled.
So, they raced some more. There were only 13 finalists. Courage won a few races, but mostly he came in second at the finals.  When all was said and done, Courage took 10th place in the whole district. So, counting all the kids that didn't even make it to the district races that would be a few hundred kids that Courage beat.
YAY for COURAGE!
We also noticed he was one of only 2 finalists that did not race a "wedge" shaped car. The top 6 winners were even wedges. We think the wedge shape might be the trick into winning.... So we have decided that next year's car will be a wedge painted to look cool.

Mouse Hunt

We have had a little grey mouse living with us for a while. I first realized this when I was sitting in my living room and heard my couch squeak as my kitten was viciously trying to eat through the side of it. My friend and I tried to find the mouse by moving the couch, but of course that was a futile attempt. It didn't work.
Then a few weeks later I was sitting in another room nauseated and strung out on the couch while watching TV. It was then that I saw the filthy little bugger scurry out of my living room into the room I was in. It dashed under the TV dresser, up the fire place, and into the dark wood cove.
I immediately grabbed a cat and coaxed her into the fireplace. She wanted no part of it. So, I grabbed the kitten who was so eagerly trying to catch the mouse weeks ago. He was not so interested anymore. I pulled all the wood out and saw that the little mouse had a little home through a crack in the side wall of the wood cove. Apparently, the only thing my cats care about is posing for the judges....
Day after day our routines are the same... wake up at 7. I sit on the couch as the kids eat breakfast. And, I watch the mouse make its daily run from the living room to the TV room, under the TV, up the fireplace, and into the cove. It was getting ridiculous.
So, off to Walmart we went for mouse killer supplies. Justice was very excited about this. We picked some traps and some cubes of poison. He liked the packages with the dead mice on them. So those were the ones we got. All day he talked about getting the mouse. He told his friends and siblings multiple times about the coming event... He was very excited.
We set the trap that night we bought it. I put a nice hunk of cheese on the trap. By morning it was gone, but the trap was untouched. Later that day I saw our little mouse making his daily run... Taunting me... Like we were on the set of Mouse Hunt the movie and he was following the script.
A few days went on like this. He would even come out and stared at me as I stared at him from the couch. It was becoming a morning ritual.
He was a picky eater.
I would expect nothing less in my home....
During this time I learned of several foods that the little mouse did not like. Clearly, he was a cheese lover.
So cliché'!
Now I had to figure out how to get him from taking the cheese without avoiding the trap. Somehow he would get the food and not trigger it. Or he would get the food and trigger it, but avoid being caught. I have no idea how... and, I was annoyed yet impressed by this little mouse's cunning geniousness.
PEANUT BUTTER...
There is a reason it is one of the greatest condiments!
I deduced that the mouse needed to tug the cheese in order to trigger the trap. It worked! After about a month of watching this little guy run my house on a semi-daily basis, he was caught.
The weird thing is that I put the trap in the fireplace and he ended up dead in my kitten. Bizarre...

My New Phone

David gave me a new phone for my birthday. I have already ranted and raged about it. So, you know the one...
Anyway, I gave it a second try and I really like it! I had to spend a few more hours figuring it out. As a result, I have learned that there are definitely some things I don't care for about it. But, they can be fixed or I can work with them.
Overall though, I am enjoying the phone. I am sure in time I will be a pro at it.
So, thank you Babe. You are the best!

The Birthday Phone

So David gave me a new phone for my birthday. I loved it at first sight... Totally caught off guard, but loved it. It is called a Sciphone. I never heard of such a one. Apparently it is a knock-off of the iPhone. It looks identical, but there are a few differences. First, it has a stylus that you have to use to get around the different applications. It is a dual sim (whatever that means). It has an FM radio and a "shake" feature that will change the music you are listening to that you have downloaded - kinda like "shuffle". I am pretty sure it gets on the web. And, it is suppose to do all kinds of other things.
But, here is the issue I have with it. It sucks, plain and simple.
The phone's screen sensitivity does not recognize that I am trying to touch it to get to different places on the phone. When it does sense that I have touched it with the stylus, it will jump to somewhere else that I don't want. I can't figure out how to make the phone ring. I am not even sure how to dial a number for an outgoing call. It takes really bad pictures. I can't figure anything out on this phone and what I have figured out won't work right!
Now really.... I am not a dumb person. I am an honor student. I was invited into the national honors society and who knows how many other honors leagues and sororities.... So, I SHOULD be able to work a simple phone. No so....
Well, after trying for a long time last night, I gave up. I was frustrated and didn't want David to know I didn't like the new phone, yet.
I was determined to try again this morning... I worked on that phone for hours. I had my computer on my lap looking for help forums. There really weren't any! And, after trying to work it out on my own again with the phone for about an hour and a half, it died! I had it charging all night and it died after 1 1/2 hours! Come on!
I had had it! But, I was so worried about what David would think. I never wanted to touch the stupid thing again, and here he was so excited and proud of himself for getting it for me. He would certainly know I wasn't using it. But I was trying to figure it out in my head.... I could change the sim cards before and after he left to work from the new to old phone and back.... I couldn't re-gift it. David would wonder where the phone went and I want to keep my friends.... I was stuck. There really was no way out.
So, I ended up calling David at work this morning full of guilt to confess my disdain for the crappy new phone. I ended up bawling like a baby apologizing for hating the phone. He reassured me that it was OK and his feelings weren't hurt. He is such a great guy.
But, now I have a non-returnable phone, that I hate, sitting in a box by the door.
I think maybe I will just carry it around to look cool. It does look like a cool phone.....

1/3 the way to 100

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a nice day. It all started off with my good friend Carrie and her family coming over the night before with a plate of carrot cup cakes with cream cheese frosting. (My favorite!) They also gave me a "never to be broken, always reliable can opener"( I have horrible luck with can openers and am now on my 5th since I have lived in this house.)
Then she and her daughter Sarah came over in the morning after the kids headed off to school. She was bearing chocolate gifts. It could have all ended there to complete my day, but there was more...
I took a nap. I took a shower. My brothers and dad remembered my birthday this year. It's the little things folks....
Unfortunately, David was confined to the hospital until 6 pm. (Sheesh! Some women think the whole world needs to be put on hold because they are having a baby!) So, he called to tell me that he was sorry about that. And, he wanted to tell me I wasn't allowed to make dinner. So, he told me to get pizza take-out... What a hero! But, again my good friend Carrie came through and supplied my favorite pizza for dinner at her house. (It is Vito's Hawiian.)
David finally came home and I got to open my gifts. David and "Justice" gave me a Northface jacket size XS. It will look great on me when I can wear it next winter! David and "Hope" gave me a touch phone. Very awesome at first glance and for the first hour..... Then I wanted to shatter it into a million pieces after hours of trying to get it to work. (Here's the thing... Just because it is a "touch phone" doesn't mean it is a good phone.) Faith made me a very sweet card and bought me a skin cover for the phone that I now loathe so much.
Finally David and "Courage" got me a mint and chocolate ice cream cake. Yum. Yum. They brought it out all ablaze and accompanied by a booming chorus of "Happy Birthday." But, I was too full from stuffing my belly with pizza to really enjoy a full piece.
It was a good day. Just what I wanted.

Sybil is in the House!

Why is it that pregnancy turn women into crazy psychopaths? Seriously, the hormones wreak havoc on pregnant women. They are uninvited little monsters that feed on the growing life inside of her. They take hold and will not let go for 9 months.
It is a cruel fact of life that makes the pregnant woman feel even worse about her already shape-shifting, unexpected noise making, insecure self. She doesn't want to be crazy. It just happens. But, beware... If you ever call her on her psycho "out to get everyone" and "self-loathing" pregnancy hormones, she will seek you out and make your life a living hell. You would be sooooo much better off agreeing with whatever she has to say, feel, complain about, cry about, and even laugh and have joy about. It is for your safety. And, I do need to touch on the point that you DO NEED TO laugh and feel joy about the same things as she does or you will spiral her into insecurity and disdain for you, my friend. I am serious when I say that you should agree with EVERYTHING she is going through. Because whether you do or do not agree with her, in the end you will wish you did.

So, I have come up with 10 rules everyone should learn when dealing with a pregnant woman.
1. You are wrong. Even when you are right, you are wrong. When you don't admit you are wrong you will wish that you were wrong... Thus, rendering you wrong.
2. A pregnant woman's mood may change at any moment. This may even be when you agree with her when YOU know she is wrong, but you agree anyway following rule #1. She may at this point feel patronized and angry that you caved. Jeeze! Get a backbone! What you need to do at this point is just hold her and let her know that you know you are a crap head for making her cry.
3. It will take a fraction of the time it use to for her to get upset. We are talking about 1/4th the time. Always have a back-up plan. Keep new jewelry in your pocket to give to her. The surprise of shining things will distract her. OR... Let her know that you feel awful and that YOU need some ice cream because of what you did. DO NOT... I repeat DO NOT say "let's get YOU (the pregnant woman) some ice cream." She will know you are full of crap, and just trying to get her to shut up and act normal.
4. She will get freaked out by a lot of dumb stuff. It is your job to let her know her worry is legitimate. But then you must not forget to solve or dissipate what is freaking her out.
5. If you do not sympathize with her, she will feel alone. That will spiral her into a depression that she will try to overcome through shopping since all other addicting behaviors are off limits during pregnancy. When she comes home from her shopping trip she will feel better. If you want her to stay feeling better, tell her that you thought about it and now understand how she feels. Then tell her you are excited to see what she bought followed by "Wow! You got some awesome stuff! Great job!"
6. She will look different. She will have a huge and fast growing belly. Her thighs will get bigger and wider. She will have dark circles under her eyes. She might not feel energized enough to put on make-up or do her hair. She will walk around in frumpy clothes. You WILL want to tell her everyday that she is glowing and looks amazing; that you are totally "into" her pregnant look.
7. She will be tired all the time. Husbands, get use to doing extra chores because she won't. Friends, don't expect her to call or initiate get togethers because her mind will be mush and can't think that far in advance.
8. She will make strange and bizarre bodily noises. Do not draw attention to these sounds unless you are going to join in. If  you do, you will just make her cry. At that point you will need to imply rule #3.
9. She will be hurting from the changes her body is going through. Never let her get to the point that she needs to ask for a back, foot, boob, leg, neck, etc.... rub. Offer. Offer all the time. Sometimes just say, "Give me your feet (Or back, neck...). I want to help you feel better."
10. She will feel more affectionate and emotionally drawn to her loved ones even though it may not show. This must ALWAYS be reciprocated or she will feel unwanted and ugly. Then you will be dealing with rule #5. If you are a husband who neglects this rule, then she will suspect you have a lover. You might want to take a few days off of work to have some quality time.
Kids need to beware, also. To help them understand Pregnant Mommy's issues, they may need to view this video illustrating just how crazy it can get.
This blog is dedicated to my Melissa and my own little family. I still love you. Half way there...

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