Evening the Odds

Too many good things have been happening in my life recently. I have loved it! And, I have been thinking, "Yay!!! Everything is starting to turn around for us!" I mean, a "real" date with David, a new job, I got my car back, and soooo much more that I am not going to mention.

So in order to set the laws of all things equal back in order, the gods have sent me some doosies today.


To start off, I was kept up all night because of our dog Charlie. He whined and whimpered all night because he was having explosive diarrhea and needed to be let out every 30 minutes. Fun. Fun. Apparently, David had given him some rotten string cheese last night. Hmmmm.... I think we have found the culprit.


As a result, I woke up completely exhausted. And, my kids let me have it.... "Mom, does being stabbed with a pirate sword hurt?" "Mom, is fencing fun?" "Can fencing kill you?" "Mom, Courage won't let me read the cereal box!" "Mom, will you put my shoes on me?" "Mom, Charlie tooted!" "Mom, am I getting braces today?"
"Mom, why do I have to go to the dentist?" "Mom, you have to do some homework for my class!" "Mom, I need rice!" "Mom, I need to harvest my crops in Farmville! "Mom...Mom....MOM!!!"


So, I got the girls off to school - ON TIME, Thank you! And, off to the dentist for Courage, Justice and me.


But, I made a wrong turn on the freeway because I was zoning out in my daydreams of visiting a quiet tropical island. That added 15 minutes to our already 35 minute drive. Once we got to the dentist, I realized that the car was seriously smoking and hissing. I think it was on fire. I got the kids out quickly. It freaked me out. And, that's right. Back to no car again for me....


So, I called David to come and get us from the dentist, because blowing up was not on my agenda today. Unfortunately, he was in a surgery. So, we had to wait for an hour before he showed up.


Luckily we got home in time for Hope to get off the Kindergarten bus! But, when I walked through my door a horrible smell hit me and I started gagging. Charlie, in our absence, had explosive diarrhea that splattered all over the wall and carpet near his dog crate that he was in.


To top it all off, I couldn't stop crying. David was talking to me non-stop too. Why does my family talk so much? Can no one appreciate the silence? And, my sweet Hope gave me a wedgy!
So, Yes, I was feeling testy. And, no it didn't help that David offered to get me some "chill pills."


Arrgh!!! I am sooooo tired and feeling a bit sick. I just need to go to bed! Wake me tomorrow.....

The Best Date Ever!

David took my on the best date last night. It was girlie and romantic! And, it started off with him opening my car door for me.... I could hardly stand it!



First, we went to Carrabba's Italian Grill - (Thanks Crystal!). That place is so yummy! I ordered the CHICKEN BRYAN which is a grilled piece of chicken topped with goat cheese and sundried tomatoes and then smothered in a basil lemon butter sauce and some fettuccini. You have to try it!!! I ate the whole thing, and it is rare that I finish a restaurant meal because they are so big or "just OK." I wanted to puke afterwards. But, it was soooo worth it.


Then, David took me to the mall.... Halleluiah!!!! We shopped. We went to borders and looked around. We went to a sporting goods store. We ended up getting some cool stuff for the kids for Christmas.


After that we went to the movies to see none other than New Moon!!!! I had been waiting for nearly a year for that movie to come out. We waited in line to be seated for 2 hours. But, it was so perfect because David and I just sat and visited. We had a great time sharing each other's company. And, I was so impressed that he was willing to sit in a theatre for a movie that drew in more estrogen than testosterone by 300 to 1. That is true love.


The movie was of course amazing... I felt that it was much better done than the first. And, it was hilarious how many cheers we heard when the title came on the screen, and for every time Jacob took his shirt off. David just laughed and I thought how awesome he was to endure that all so happily for me.


After the movie David asked questions about Twilight plots and meanings of certain things, like he was so interested. He is just amazing, because I know he really didn't care. But, he knew it would make me happy to talk about it.

How on earth did I get so lucky?

To Pee or Not to Pee....

Have you ever felt the zinging sensation of needing to pee once the warm shower water began to soothe the cockles of your being? This is the question and controversial topic of this post.

Peeing in the Shower.

Is it really so taboo? I propose it is indeed not. In fact, dare I say it..., peeing in the shower is an activity of the wise and prudent.

The Safety Hazzard

First of all, peeing in the shower is a safer choice! I have felt the serious urge to pee while showering, so I speak with experience when I say this.  A few times I have given into the peer-pressures of "the world" that peeing in the shower is wrong. As a result, I have suffered the consequences. Many a time have I braved suds in my eyes while trying to see my way to the toilet only to slip on the tile floor and slide right off of the slick wet toilet, thus onto my then sore derriere. I nearly died!

Eco-Friendly

Second, it takes an astounding five to seven gallons per flush in a regular toilet, and still a whopping one and a half gallons per flush with the ultra-low flush models. Peeing in the shower is a matter of saving the planet! And, that is a cause I feel passionate about and will support any way I can.

 

A Matter of Health

Third, peeing in the shower is the healthier way. Oh, yes it is.... When you pee in the shower you can quickly lather up the offending area and rinse off with fresh water. Those of you who don't believe that this is a cleaner way to pee, you go right on aread  collecting "pee drops" and saturated toilet paper lint in your underwear. Uhhh... yeah... that's clean!.... you sicko with a disease waiting to happen.

So, let it flow my friends!

Feel free to pee!

Let us all save lives and the planet
one shower at a time....

                      

The Poultry Smack-Down

In the right corner, weighing in at 110 pounds... the chicken fryer, the chicken broiler, the chicken crock pot-er.... Teraaaaaaaaaaa..... The Chicken Tamer!!!!!!

In the left corner, collectively weighing in at 10 pounds... able to run faster than hot snot, clucking louder than a roaring freight train, famous for their flapping wing attack.... The Lady Hens... Ramen Noodle, McNugget, Lola, and Huevos!!!!!!

I sincerely believe that my chickens are slightly "MR", aka retarded. David built them a really nice coop. It is warm and dry inside. We have even bedded it down with a bail of sweet smelling straw! Now if that is not cozy, then I just don't know what is!

Well, every night the ladies huddle up together OUTSIDE of the coop. They brave the winds, rain, and scary sounds of dogs barking. But, is it really being brave or just being dumb? I mean seriously! Keep in mind the weather is regularly now in the 40's. I would die - literally. But, before my torturous death, I would be sobbing like a baby that I was in the cold, cold dark.

So, I felt an inkling of compassion for my not so bright hens and I decided to do something about it.


I bundled up in my winter attire and headed out to the coop determined to teach the birds how to use common sense. But, when I got out there they all dispersed into the four corners of the coop.

I knew I had my work cut out for me... But, I was determined to be their hero! So I welcomed on the challenge of the chicken fight.

Round one.
I chased Huevos. I caught her. And, with her wings flapping wildly in my face I quickly threw her into the coop. OK!!! One down. Three to go... Or, so I thought.

Round two. 
As soon as I turned around to grab a hysterically panicked Ramen Noodle, Huevos flew out of the coop. Crap! So, I grabbed Lola and threw her in the coop. She launched herself out faster than I could even turn around. She just charged at me clucking, "I WILL NOT BE A PRISONER!!!!"


Ok.. So I don't know how many rounds there were. All I knew was that over and over I grabbed, threw, and watched the ladies fly back out of the coop.


Really? Are you kidding me? I am trying to help these morons!


After about 30 minutes of battling, I realized that I had to throw them in the coop and sit at the door to prevent them from coming out for about 5 minutes before I grabbed another hen.


Alas, I did prevail.


However, night 2 was the same scenario. What will be waiting for me tonight... a battle or will the birds wise up?

El Dia Dos!

Day 2 with Gramma in town. We went to the COSI museum in downtown Toledo. We had a great time.